The First Love...
This is the story of my first crush. It was way back in eight standard and she was my neighbour!!! Well, not exactly neighbour in the true sense of the word...we just lived on the same street; houses seperated by a decent distance!!! But as far as the guys in my class were concerned,me and her were neighbours and that made me the target for endless leg-pulling :-)
She was real fair,wore glasses,had long hair which she tied in two similar plaits,was pretty skinny and there were several girls who looked loads better than her in the school uniform skirt!!! I hated the things my friends used to say about us and I always countered saying that I didn't give a damn about her. Our interactions were limited to the occasional casual talk or a smile of acknowledgement in a crowd!!! The girls to boys ratio in the class wasn't favourable and so the seating was such that there was a girl in between 2 boys. The logic behind this according to the teachers was that the girl will prevent boys from getting into too much mischief!!!The girl who used to sit next to me was the object of my friends(who used to sit on the other side) affection. The teacher thought they were getting too cozy, so she shifted the girls seat and my "neighbour" came and sat next to me!!! I found out we shared the same interests. I used to hum tunes from Disneys "The Lion King" and she used to quickly identify it. Things were nice between us and coupled with the constant jibes that my friends used to make, I guess my crush was developing :-)
Well, I was in love. I never told her at first,though!!! I was the only person in school who thought she was good looking. We used to go to tuitions together and I,being the shy guy I was around girls, never used to talk much to her!!! We were changed to different classes in 9th. We were having this english drama on "Meerabai" as part of the curriculam...I was Meerabhai's father in law from my class and she was Meerabhai from her class. We used to reherse our dialogues while walking from the bus stop to our houses. I used to go with her in her car for the tuitions...and during those rare occasions when the driver wasn't able to pick us up, we used to return by ourselves. I once, to exhibit my gallantry, bought her peanuts from the roadside vendor. She declined saying she didn't like them!!! The place we lived was well known for the annual "Karthika" celebrations, our version of the north's Deepavali. The houses were lit up with lamps and there would be a festive atmosphere all around. I used to quickly do my chores on that day and with my best friend, would go to see how her house looked like in the evening. The sight of her, wearing a white paavada and blouse, lighting a lamp on her terrace, her face shining like the moon from the light of the lamp still lingers in my memory!!! Those were the good old days!!!
I have this tendency to ruin things when they are great!!! Backed by my friends who were pestering me to do it for a long time now, I asked her friend to tell her that I liked her. And things between us just fell down like a pack of cards!!! She stopped talking to me and since then used to give me the cold shoulder. I was sad but a part of me knew that I deserved it!!! I didn't complain. There was no point. 2 years passed and one day, to my great surprise and joy, she came and offered to end the "cold war" between us. And since then we have been casual friends. Sort of like an anti climax,huh?? But still...I was satisfied with just having her in my life in some way...something is better than nothing, isin't it??
Back when we were in 7th, after I realised that I liked her, I gave her a card and a TINKLE digest on her b'day for the first time. It's been a decade since that happened and I have never forgotten to send her a card on her b'day all these years!!!I still don't know whether she's seen them. Some people may take me for a sissy...but I don't mind!!! That's just me!!! We used to talk once in a while while I was in college...and I've seen her about 5 times after school.She's currently doing her CA and working in Ernakulam and it has been 2 years since I've seen her!!! But all this time, I used to remember her b'day (Sept 30) and send her a card without fail. I've been working in Mysore for a year now and I was recently back home on leave. After a productive day doing nothing...I was preparing for bed when I suddenly realised that it was September 30th!!! I had forgotten about her and my decade long tradition of sending cards!!! I felt real guilty for a while and then realised I had been holding on for too long and it was time to let go!!!Life goes on and we just have to move along with it.People come and leave...the best we can do is enjoy the time we have together...!!!She'll always be there in my mind as the person who opened the world of "being in love" to me (even though she didn't reciprocate it ;-))They say one never forgets ones first love and heartbreak. Well...it's been 10 years and I still haven't forgotten her. Thats proof for you!!!
She was real fair,wore glasses,had long hair which she tied in two similar plaits,was pretty skinny and there were several girls who looked loads better than her in the school uniform skirt!!! I hated the things my friends used to say about us and I always countered saying that I didn't give a damn about her. Our interactions were limited to the occasional casual talk or a smile of acknowledgement in a crowd!!! The girls to boys ratio in the class wasn't favourable and so the seating was such that there was a girl in between 2 boys. The logic behind this according to the teachers was that the girl will prevent boys from getting into too much mischief!!!The girl who used to sit next to me was the object of my friends(who used to sit on the other side) affection. The teacher thought they were getting too cozy, so she shifted the girls seat and my "neighbour" came and sat next to me!!! I found out we shared the same interests. I used to hum tunes from Disneys "The Lion King" and she used to quickly identify it. Things were nice between us and coupled with the constant jibes that my friends used to make, I guess my crush was developing :-)
Well, I was in love. I never told her at first,though!!! I was the only person in school who thought she was good looking. We used to go to tuitions together and I,being the shy guy I was around girls, never used to talk much to her!!! We were changed to different classes in 9th. We were having this english drama on "Meerabai" as part of the curriculam...I was Meerabhai's father in law from my class and she was Meerabhai from her class. We used to reherse our dialogues while walking from the bus stop to our houses. I used to go with her in her car for the tuitions...and during those rare occasions when the driver wasn't able to pick us up, we used to return by ourselves. I once, to exhibit my gallantry, bought her peanuts from the roadside vendor. She declined saying she didn't like them!!! The place we lived was well known for the annual "Karthika" celebrations, our version of the north's Deepavali. The houses were lit up with lamps and there would be a festive atmosphere all around. I used to quickly do my chores on that day and with my best friend, would go to see how her house looked like in the evening. The sight of her, wearing a white paavada and blouse, lighting a lamp on her terrace, her face shining like the moon from the light of the lamp still lingers in my memory!!! Those were the good old days!!!
I have this tendency to ruin things when they are great!!! Backed by my friends who were pestering me to do it for a long time now, I asked her friend to tell her that I liked her. And things between us just fell down like a pack of cards!!! She stopped talking to me and since then used to give me the cold shoulder. I was sad but a part of me knew that I deserved it!!! I didn't complain. There was no point. 2 years passed and one day, to my great surprise and joy, she came and offered to end the "cold war" between us. And since then we have been casual friends. Sort of like an anti climax,huh?? But still...I was satisfied with just having her in my life in some way...something is better than nothing, isin't it??
Back when we were in 7th, after I realised that I liked her, I gave her a card and a TINKLE digest on her b'day for the first time. It's been a decade since that happened and I have never forgotten to send her a card on her b'day all these years!!!I still don't know whether she's seen them. Some people may take me for a sissy...but I don't mind!!! That's just me!!! We used to talk once in a while while I was in college...and I've seen her about 5 times after school.She's currently doing her CA and working in Ernakulam and it has been 2 years since I've seen her!!! But all this time, I used to remember her b'day (Sept 30) and send her a card without fail. I've been working in Mysore for a year now and I was recently back home on leave. After a productive day doing nothing...I was preparing for bed when I suddenly realised that it was September 30th!!! I had forgotten about her and my decade long tradition of sending cards!!! I felt real guilty for a while and then realised I had been holding on for too long and it was time to let go!!!Life goes on and we just have to move along with it.People come and leave...the best we can do is enjoy the time we have together...!!!She'll always be there in my mind as the person who opened the world of "being in love" to me (even though she didn't reciprocate it ;-))They say one never forgets ones first love and heartbreak. Well...it's been 10 years and I still haven't forgotten her. Thats proof for you!!!
Comments